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Please help me...


avidsonicfan1991

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Posted

I feel constantly depressed whenever something bad happens to me. Like that one time when I was criticized for being an asshole about complaining that the PCSX2 module not working for me. Then after saying that the Xbox ruined gaming because it started the trend of consoles becoming PCs in disguise, I was also told that "You have a shitty attitude" and because I complained about being suicidal over it, the thread related to this was locked.

But here's the reason why all this isn't dramatic at all........... I am high-functioning autistic and I suffer from depression whenever somebody criticizes me and gives me a bad reputation. And whether it's on forums or not, I also have big anger management problems. Despite going to a therapist and being told that deep breathing and other coping skills would get me back to peace, whenever I feel angry about a certain something, I almost refuse to employ them properly. Even friends told me this is a sign of somebody who doesn't want to improve. I just feel like my life is over whenever I was told these things. And one time or another, I almost considered wanting to commit suicide, I was that depressed.

This is the most depressed I have ever been. Right now, I just feel like I'm worse than Hitler for being an asshole on the forum. Would someone please help me get out of my depression and my potential for ending my life.......? T_T

By the way, I am way too nervous to call any suicide hotlines or text any crisis text services...

Posted

The part of me that is cynical is judging you a bit... thinking perhaps you're an attention seeker or a drama queen. I'm entitled to that judgement because I've been there and done that.

Just wanted to post to say that I care, but I don't know how to help you. I can tell you what needs to happen, but I don't know if you're strong enough to do it. You need to change your perspective. Instead of sitting around and dwelling on things that cause you pain, you need to spend more time thinking about all the good things in your life that you'd be leaving behind. Do you have family and friends that love you? Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? Dreams? Goals? Simply having people that love you ought to be enough to keep you around. This life isn't just about your happiness and your well-being - if there's one person in this life that loves you, you owe it to them to not cause them pain.

But I'm guessing this is stuff you've probably already heard or thought about, so I'm going to share something personal. 10 months ago I thought I was dying. My health has slowly improved... but I'm still not 100%. And every day since all this first started, I've done nothing but think about everything that I'd leave behind. And I don't just notice the good things - I notice all of the bad things - all of the problems that I DON'T have, that others have, and I am thankful. This life wasn't perfect. There were injustices, unfair judgements, humility, failures, and broken dreams. But I know now more than ever that it has been a good life, and all the pain was worth it, for what I've gained.

You need to treat your depression like a drug that's bringing you down. You're addicted to it - you love the way it feels when you feel sorry for yourself, when nobody else will. You love the way it feels when someone shows you sympathy. You love being your own advocate - and the world revolves around you and your problems.

Get over yourself. It's the best advice you're ever going to get. There are people out there that have it way worse than you, and they're still able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. There's someone dying of cancer right now that wishes they had the problems you have, but instead they're on their way out. 

Drop the depression like a bad habit - that's pretty much what it is. You get over a heartache or an addiction the exact same way - you leave the broken pieces on the ground, and you move forward, and you don't look back. You have the strength to do it, but you have to want to do it. Happiness isn't easy, it takes effort. Misery is comfortable.

Posted

Hey dude, remember me? The guy that said - " You have a shitty attitude" ;)

Look - don't take these things so personally okay. Like Suprakarma said, the cyncial side thinks maybe you are looking for attention but I don't know you, or your situation in life and I'm not out to make you or anyone feel this bad.

You have a finite amount of fucks to give in this life, so chose them carefully. You can't live your life caring so much about what other people think and you should certainly not get upset about what some dude in the UK who you don't even know, have never met, and never will says on a forum post. You came across as rude, so I replied in kind but I lost no sleep over it and neither should you sir, it's just not important.



I enjoyed your sonic videos by the way ;) you have a lot of hits on YT with those. You should do more.

 

 

 

 

Posted

The world is a rough place for the mentally ill.

Social isolation = mental illness. Mental illness = social isolation.

avidsonicfan1991 you have a friend in me. If being rude or socially awkard are your biggest crimes, I don't have any problem accepting you for who you are. You just need to learn to take criticism (both constructive and cruel) better. You're never going to improve unless you put yourself out there, and face the rejection and the criticism and the humility.

There's a balance in life that you need to find between being considerate of others, and being true to yourself. You don't want to be a people-pleaser with no self respect, and you don't want to be an arrogant douchebag that is inconsiderate of others feelings. It's not always easy to see which side of the spectrum you're on, either... and at the end of the day, happiness trumps all other factors in life. There's happiness to be found elsewhere. Don't make the acceptance of others your reason for living and your well being - see it as a work in progress that you improve on over time. If other people were ever really worth a damn, they'd give you more than one chance, and they'd certainly be willing to overlook a few personality defects.

So please, just be yourself. We're all at different stages in life, and our social awareness. You're not alone, and there are people in this world who want to see you become the best you can be.

Posted

Life is short enough as it is without ended it prematurely and we are very very lucky to be here.

If you haven't done so already look into your diet, cut out all the crap and get off the sugar and carbs, I feel much better being carb free.

And as for the forum, the reason I started posting here was because of the friendly attitude of the members as you can see by the comments above, people here do care and want to help out and it's still the same as ever. You just need to have the same attitude.

Posted

Life is a precious gift. Some have beliefs about what's after this, but the truth is, nobody knows... you can only choose to believe.

Who's to say you end this life, and then in the next one, you're re-incarnated into someone without legs? But even if you are, there's this guy:

 

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

LOL! Dude, I've been called much worse and I've even been banned from forums (not this one) for the most insignificant things. Why would that get you depressed? And to have anger issues on top of that? Come on!

This is a forum where people have different opinions and will say things you might not like or agree with. Who cares! You can't let that bother you.

Plus why would you want to kill yourself? You are here because you like video games. If you kill yourself you'll never get a chance to play them. It's stupid anyway. What do you achieve by doing that? That's right, absolutely nothing except hurt those around you who care about you.

Cheer up! It's an internet forum. Good thing you weren't around in the early days of the internet when flame wars were a daily thing. That would get you really depressed and really mad. 

Chill and enjoy this site.

Posted

holy fuck!   I thought it was help for hyperspin! 

 

 

NOW WHERE WAS I?   ohh look and eagle ...............................................................................................................................................running me ass off!

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